This morning I woke up to my alarm in a panic and started worrying about everything that needed to get done today. Errands to run, edits to my narrative, other homework due tomorrow, homework due Tuesday… Because stressing out before a busy day is totally a helpful thing to do! Before actually accomplishing… anything.
Needless to say I had to take a chill pill, eat some breakfast and sat down to browse the internet. Despite the whole idea of trying to relax, I attempted to re-arrange my day and figure out what could go and what had to stay. I really wanted to remain indoors but couldn’t put all my errands off until Wednesday, so I figured I’d cut out the whole hair/dressing up part too. And tweeted this: “Probably skipping 30for30 today. Pretty sure I will end up going to the store in pjs which I am normally against. #oneofthosedays”
Now I have a serious aversion to wearing inside “comfy” clothes in the outside world. I got ready to walk out the door in my super awesome “comfy” clothes – the ancient knit pants, faded and pilled after years of use and the over-sized men’s FOX sweater, complete with logo in a fire effect, which used to be one of my wardrobe staples, if you can believe it. I just couldn’t do it. I talked about the value of comfort before, the importance or even nostalgia, of having these clothes available to wear but there is no doubt that getting dressed and ready helps start my day. And I’ve realized that discarding that ritual doesn’t help.
Nor does cutting out the things I enjoy in order to do the things I must. For some reason, what should have been an easy semester has turned out to be extremely stressful for reasons that have yet to be determined. Aside from the fact of pulling a narrative out of my butt when I am not a writer. I definitely indulge in the occasional dramatics when things get a little crazy but I’ve never actually felt this stressed out. Even last year, when I was sick for over a month, working, behind in classes… I pulled it all together and made things work.
Right now I want to jump into bed, pull the covers up over my head and pretend that the world doesn’t exist.
Cardigan, top, jeggings – Old Navy
Bangles – Torrid
Boots – Clarks
Necklace – My grandmother’s
So I threw on some clothes, ran errands, we went to a late breakfast and you know what? I feel a little better, even though part of me is (still) thinking about how much time was “wasted”. After I returned home I decided to take pictures. While I didn’t go through the full extent of getting ready (hello bed head!), I like the outfit and I really enjoy participating in this challenge – part of that is taking a picture every day. Punishing myself isn’t really motivation to work on something I despise!
The problem is that the outfit I chose today was not from my 30 for 30 items – a top and jeggings. I had been contemplating switching a few items out but hadn’t made a decision. This does it for me! I don’t usually wear pants. After Lane Bryant switched to their first iteration of Right Fit, ironically, their pants no longer fit my body. The old style size 28 jeans had been my wardrobe staple for years. BUT THEY TOOK THEM AWAY FROM ME! I got by and bought a few pairs off of eBay but ended up making the transition to wearing skirts and dresses and never looked back.
The jeggings trend has intrigued me but with my hate for pants, I never bought a pair. Another reason of why I hate pants? Everything these days seems to be cut in a low rise. I was really excited to see the return of high waisted shorts/jeans but haven’t really seen them show up in plus sizes yet. Mid-October, I decided to take the plunge and bought a pair of jeggings from Old Navy. After my attempts to find skinny jeans last year, I was a bit skeptical. Jean-like fabric and styling that are close fitting like leggings? It seemed too good to be true but the ones from Old Navy had good reviews and I figured I’d try them out.
Simply put, I love them. Not totally a fan of how they fit my body but I got over it. Most of it is not being used to wearing pants, so things just look awkward. Either way, this means I’ll be replacing a few items in my 30 for 30. Not entirely sure yet – but I’m thinking the black pleated skirt and maybe the black ruched top will go. I didn’t need three black skirts and three black tops anyway!
I figured writing a giant wall of text would help my peace of mind and it has. Yay! Ironic that my narrative doesn’t fit into that category.